Roast Chicken VS Fries 'n Gravy

I walk into the convenience store today and find not one, but TWO new flavours from Lay's staring back at me.  This is a no-brainer in my chiposphere.  I procure both bags and run home before I drool all over the lotto tickets waiting to be validated by the cashier.

Before even tackling these flavour profiles, I should first address the style of Lay's chips.  Unlike the average Ruffle chip, Lays are a much thinner, typically non-rippled, almost transparent chip.  You know that episode of The Simpsons when Homer is trying to get fatter so he can go on disability?

Dr. Nick: Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?

And explains how to determine if a food is fatty enough:  "If you can see through it, that's your window to weight gain!" Then, Bart rubs a fish sandwich against an opaque window, turns it clear with grease and a bird flies into it.

This is what I think of every time I go for Lay's.  A thin, oily little chip that looks like the "window to weight gain". They are basically the MacDonald's of chips--though crave-worthy, you leave with a greasy chipgloss around your mouth.

Now onto Chicken Dinner VS Fries 'n Gravy...

Round 1: Concept
In response to Doritos loud Late Night flavours, Lay's seems to have rustled up this beige meal.  There is no mystery behind the idea here.  Chicken dinner in a bag. 

Round 2: Taste
Keeping with predictability, Roast Chicken tastes just like a home-cooked roasted chicken.  Complete with  thick herb and rosemary notes and a salty dark gravy aftertaste, this chip is not short on seasoning.

Acting as a perfect side for the Roast Chicken main course, Fries 'n Gravy are essentially regular Lay's coated in brown ClubHouse gravy powder.  The only redeeming aspect is that fries and chips are both potatoes, so the gravy idea isn't too obscure.

Together these chips mimic a typical Quebecois dinner.  All that's missing is white Wonder Bread  and discoloured canned peas folded in with the chicken, fries and gravy. 

Round 3: TKO
After beige packaging, beige chips and 3x your daily salt intake, the new Lay's flavours will knock you out faster than if fat Homer sat on your chest and put his fat man hat over your mouth and nose.  If you can make it back into the ring after this, I applaud your resilience and fear for your palate.

Winner: Fries 'n Gravy
While Roast Chicken took a while to warm up to, Fries 'n Gravy started out with a strong believable potato seasoning.  Both contenders dealt some low blows, exhibiting excessive salt and grease in each corner of the ring.  Ultimately, finishing with a distinct gravy taste and minimal bellyache, Fries 'n Gravy advances as the winner of this lightweight match-up.