The Ultimate Chip Detector Test

Sour Cream 'n Bacon Sets the Stage

 I'm currently in the midst of moving into a new apartment.  Lucky for me, I am joining a team of 2 already-amazing roomates... or so I hope.

Last night I was helping one of my new mates paint and I decided that it was the perfect time to set her up for The Ultimate Chip Detector Test.  This is a sure-fire way to know if you will really get along with someone.  This test may be administered to: first dates, in-laws, strangers in vans, siblings, new pets, Justin Bieber--and of course, new roomates.

Step 1. Purchase a Bag of Chips. 
Not your reliable go-to bag (otherwise I would have gone with Doritos Nacho Cheese).  Instead, go for something more telling.

In this instance, Ruffles Sour Cream 'n Bacon was the ideal pick.  Here you've got the classic Sour Cream element, which indicates whether or not your subject can appreciate the gourmet flavours of a timeless chip.  For the kicker, you throw in the bacon twist.  Now you'll know if you are dealing with a subject who is able to let lose and break traditions, or just a dud for average chips.  This is really where ones true character may be revealed.

Step 2. Bait the Trap.
Announce the purchase of your deliberately selected bag, but do not open!

This step is used as a litmus to see just how much self-restraint your subject really has.  It may also serve to alert you to the threat of a serious chip monger or even worse--a chipophoeb.  No matter what the outcome here, you must confront the truth.

Be sure to note the bag opening procedures here too. Bag popping is definitely poor-form and if experienced, you should feel free to abort the rest of the test at any time. Chances are, you are not in the right chip company.  While use of a bowl* may indicate prudish or overly controlling behaviour, a respectable fold down approach should be well-received.  This subject not only exhibits class and self-control, but they  may even be up for sharing.

*Note: removing chips from their natural bag environment is proven to negatively affect taste. This act is really only respected when preformed by a neighbourhood mom in the 80s.  Chips come in bags for a very serious reason (this topic to be revisited). 

Step 3. Observe.
Are you dealing with a nibbler?  A fistfull crumbler?  Or chipwich stacker?

Observe eating habits and refrain from offering any napkins, refreshments or dip options.  This is your time to really understand your subjects personal identity.  

At the end of this test you should have some good insight to the kind of person you are really dealing with.  In my case, we are talking about a roomate who not only indulged my flavour selection, but even folded down the bag and insisted that we stop painting so we could revel in chip glory.

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